Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Titus 2 Tuesday - The Effectiveness of Quiet Correction

Today I am choosing to honor a wonderful friend of mine who is truly blessed with a quiet and sweet spirit that is beautiful unto the Lord and also to those of us who are graced with her presence~Cheryl. Not being of the particularly "quiet" demeanor myself; I have been especially blessed to observe how she lives out her life.

One of the very first things I learned from her when we were in a weekly Bible study together was how she handled correction with her children. She would quietly and discretely call (or simply motion) one of her twins over and speak calmly and quietly to them about what they needed to correct or what they had done that was wrong. There was no drama. No raised voices. No public humiliation or embarrassment involved. I cannot tell you exactly what she said each time to them, but I decided to try the approach myself. Not that I was the type of mom who hollered across the room at my kids; but I wasn't going out of my way to somewhat discretely address a matter at hand.

My children are also of the non-quiet nature; so opportunities abound in this area. I wonder why... ;) I found that my strong willed oldest responded MUCH better to this quieter, non-embarrassing correction and was more prone to fixing her behavior when it was done discretely. She wanted others to like her so she especially didn't like being "called" on something in front of others. Now that she is older I still use this technique. If she does not choose to respond to the quiet request I simply ask her, "Do you need more drama from me for you to understand, or can these quiet words be enough?" It is usually enough to get her attention and make her stop and think about the alternative ways things could play out. My children have definitely experienced a variety of responses from me as I am not a perfect mom; but I am a loving mom who they know wants the best for them as well. They know they are wise to choose the quiet when it is offered.

I believe it was also Cheryl who recommended the book, "Creative Correction" by Lisa Welchel to me when she was reading it. I am a big believer in natural consequences or in making the "punishment fit the crime" so to speak; this book offered a lot of creative ideas on both of those as well as a bunch of positive reinforcements and helped me to remember that we cannot expect our kids to do things that we haven't taken the time to train them to do.

There is much more I could say about Cheryl; she is creative, talented and skilled in many ways. I appreciate how she gives of herself for her family and willingly works with her hands to make her home a soft and lovely place for her family to land and others to visit. Thank you for your influence upon my life!

Click on the "Titus 2 Tuesday" link at the top of this post to read more posts about:

"What have you learned from another woman this week (or ever)?"


Shelley said...

I think that God is speaking to me through this. I am a yeller. And I am a loud person. I need to try this quiet correction if I can control my own urge to yell. Please pray for me.
I've learned a boatload from my mom.

Sandy Toes said...

I love Creative Correction!! Such a good book!
-sandy toes

rachael said...

thank you for stopping by and saying hi! i love all of the traditions that you share with your family - so many are similar to ours!

Adrian said...

Great post! I am definitely guilty of this. We always have lots of drama around our house. We'll have to work on that. Thanks for popping by my blog today.

Anonymous said...

I'm finding that "quiet" correction seems to work better with my children as well. I think it forces me to remain calm, which in turn, helps them to stay calm... well, sometimes, at least. =)

What a great way to honor your friend Cheryl!

Midwest Mommy said...

Great post. You really gave me something to think about.

Kingdom Mama said...

Awesome post! I'm linking it now.