Marital Moments Issue 33 - 6 Powerful Words

"Do not repay evil for evil..."

Oh if we (I) could just learn to do these 6 words; our lives and marriages would be so much less complicated! Here is the entire verse for your consideration this morning:

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." I Peter 3:8

Here is another powerful verse along the same context:

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. " Proverbs 25:21-22

Time is short again this week; but these verses were just jumping out to me... and I was compelled to share them.

Many Blessings as you begin this fresh week!

Shanda

The Infamous Pink Slip

I don't know that people use this term any more; but do you remember what it meant when you received a "pink slip" from your employer?

"You're fired!!!"

You have officially been relieved of your duties. Period.

I recently did a devotional for our MOPS Steering Team and one of my team (Jonnie!) asked if I would please write about it. She kept writing "Pink Slipping!" on her FB profile and people kept asking her what in the world that meant. :)

At the meeting I passed around slips of pink paper to everyone. I told them they were officially relieved of their duties. Relieved of the stress. Relieved of the worry. Relieved of the lack of sleep over their many jobs. Fired, if you will. Then I explained:

Our church has just opened the doors of it's brand new building. We have been meeting in a high school since it's conception and it is awesome to now be in our own building. We can meet when we want; have extra programs, etc. One of the monumental new things that we were able to do now was to have baptisms in our own baptistry!! In the past we have used other church's facilities, a local pool or rented a portable hot tub to do them out in a parking lot somewhere.

My children have literally NEVER had the opportunity to see a baptism because each time our church had scheduled one we have been out of town. As the service progressed and I realized that they were going to do the baptism in our service. I started nudging my husband, "Should we go get the kids?!" He, much more laid back than I, said no. We should wait until the next time so we could talk to them a bit about it first before they watched it.

As individuals publicly professed Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord and were baptized; I was moved to tears. Especially because there were several children being baptized. My joyful tears progressed into tears of guilt that my children truly had no idea what baptism is all about. What a horrible mom I was, I thought. I began to pray that my own children would have a desire to publicly follow Christ in Baptism.

By the time we got home; I had come up with 101 ways to incorporate baptism into our conversations, etc. (o.k. maybe not 101....) They were not interested AT ALL. I was crushed. As I cleaned up the dishes from lunch it dawned on me that it was not MY JOB to stir their hearts into wanting to identify publicly with the Lord. Yes, I can walk by example and present truth to them; but ultimately, they need to come to that place on their own as the Holy Spirit stirs it up within them. I felt God was handing me a pink slip and asking me to resign this task to Him.

How many times do I do this? Strive, when I need to just wait on the Lord.

How often do I allow myself to get worked up over a situation that I have no control (at all) over? Instead of resting in Him. Trusting that He has my good in mind and is in control?

He brought me to Matthew 6:25-34:
²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..."

So what is it that you need to be relieved from? What does your "pink slip" represent? The sale of a house? A biopsy? The faith of your children? The faith of your husband? We ALL have things to release - to hand the "pink slip" to-we need to cast those cares before Him and allow Him to work. (And yes; sometimes that means we need to step out of the way...)

I encouraged the women to place the pink slip into their Bibles; to allow it to be a reminder to release our cares, stresses, and worries to the Lord; after all, it's not our job!

Waiting on Him,

Shanda

Something's Gotta Give

May is such a busy month. So many things are coming to a close. There are gifts to be bought; cards to be written, food items taken here and there, end of year parties, chapels, field day, field trips... it leaves me wanting to shout, "Mayday! Mayday!" here and there. Can I get a "Whoop whoop?"

As much as I try to intentionally plan for this time of year; it always seems to sneak up on me almost to the point of overwhelming me. In truth; I am over committed. I haven't left adequate room for the "unexpecteds" in life or for the "extras" that often happen. Yet I'm so close to the end it doesn't seem reasonable to "drop" any of my commitments.

So...something's gotta give.

My house keeping, my blog, my sanity...o.k., sanity is still intact even if my house is a direct reflection of the tornado happening within. I know it is but a brief season; so I press on trying to make sure everyone has food, clean underwear, and knows that they are loved.

I almost didn't post all of that...sounds like I'm venting to you all right?! In a way, I am. But when I took some pause this morning to set my priorities and seek God's face and word for strength for this day it hit me. I am not alone. We all go through times like this - even if May is not your "Mayday!" We all have moments when "Something's gotta give."

I have been reminded that my days are so very much better when I make time to spend in God's Word. When I am overwhelmed; there is a rock that is higher than I and His strength is sufficient. Things don't always have to be perfect. He will perfect that which concerns me.

So if you are yelling, "Mayday!" today in your mind (even if not out loud); this post is for you!

Psalm 61:2 "From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."


2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."


Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands."

By the way; if you know me in real life and happen to come over to my house right now...I would so appreciate, "Grace, Grace, Grace!" (Especially because Littlest One has chosen to discover the potty in the midst of my "Mayday!" I'm so proud of him; but you might want to check the seat!" ;)

Blessings!

Shanda

Titus 2 Tuesday -Inspiring from Afar

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

We have all, I am sure, been inspired by someone who we didn't actually have the opportunity to get to know. Maybe we haven't even actually met the person who inspired us. There are several women who have had influence in my own life from afar.

There are women like Beth Moore, Lysa Terkeurst, Joyce Meyer, and so many more who God has used to touch so many of our lives.

But then there are others. Some of whom I don't even know their names but I see walking in God's love, grace, and power around me. Today I am taking pause and reflecting on those women. The ones whose walk has affected my life although I may not really even know them. Do you have any of those?

What struck me as I was reflecting was how God shines so brightly through them as they serve others selflessly. Not that they volunteer for everything or never say "No" to ministry opportunities; but those who in every day life go out of their way to encourage and bless others.

...holding an umbrella for an elderly woman in the rain although they don't even know her.

...witnessing a tearing down or crushing that was so carelessly or heartlessly done by another and somehow encouraging the victim even though they were a total stranger. (recent grocery store experience)

...Encouraging the mom whose child is in the midst of a very public tantrum in the middle of Target.

One of the youth in our church gave the message this past Sunday. He read a phrase of a song that he could not remember title or artist; but it impacted my heart.

"The only evidence against us is love..."

How else could someone prove that you knew Christ? Words we say don't compare to our actions. The fact is that many of us are or have been inspired; even taught, by those we don't even know. What makes me believe that those women who have spurred me on have known Christ? The way they serve others in love.

I John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. ¹⁷If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? ¹⁸Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

God alone knows the impact of our lives on others.

Confucius Says...

"Confucius says, 'Man who does not exceed his wife's expectations has not met them at all'..." Quote from my very wise husband :)

I will never forget my very first Mother's Day! I went to bed the night before sure that it was going to be a special day. After all, I had seen all of the commercials! Touching Hallmark moments, cards and gifts from children, breakfast in bed, people saying, "He went to Jared!"

It was a beautiful Sunday morning. There was no breakfast in bed; but I didn't get discouraged. I enjoyed spending the morning with my husband and young daughter and we had a great "Mother's Day" message at church that day. After our church service, we rushed over to a friend's church for her baby's dedication and then onto their house for a fun BBQ. However, half way through the BBQ, my beautiful daughter, (who had previously been a bit "stopped up" from beginning sweet potatoes) suddenly "worked things out" all over me! Thankfully, my friend had some extra clothes that fit us both so we were able to finish out the afternoon.

We arrived back home and it hit me that my husband really had not planned any kind of special "1st Mother's Day" surprise for me. The realization that the only flower I was going to receive would be the drooping carnation that they had passed out at church and the only "gift" from my daughter was an overflowing diaper; I was overwhelmed with disappointment. Although I had truly been blessed with a special day, my expectations had clouded my ability to embrace the beauty in it.

My husband could sense my disappointment and his first reaction was to somehow meet this expectation that I had in my mind. He zoomed off and returned a short time later with a watermelon (my favorite food), french fries from McDonalds (something we both liked), and a bird house from Home Depot. (He CLEARLY hadn't seen the same commercials as me! LOL!) But he had tried and given from his heart. Which is much better than getting something that we expect.

We both learned a lesson that day...how powerful expectations can be.

When we were engaged, we had gone through pre-marital counseling as many couples do. It was a wonderful way to get our expectations out in the open so we could enter our marriage knowing what the other expected from their spouse. But you cannot always know how your expectations will come into play as you interact with each other's families or after you have children. It is something we need to be continually keeping in mind and communicating about.

We also have to be on guard from allowing outside influences to set our expectations. Every major holiday, advertisers work overtime trying to create "need" within our minds and hearts. "If your spouse really loves you they will get ________ for you" kind of messages. Ones that if we allow ourselves to believe can cause so much hurt and disappointment.

My wonderful step mom wrote this to me this Mother's Day:

"Enjoy your special day on Sunday knowing that in the eyes of your three
children you are more than the person who awakens them in the morning and
puts them to bed at night, who prepares breakfast and a snack for school,
who settles their fights and bandages their wounds...you are one of God's
trophies who is modeling His love. What a privilege."

Happy Mother's Day to each of you!

*If you long to be a mother; and yet do not have children or are missing your own mom; I'd love to be praying with/for you. Feel free to leave a comment below or send me an e-mail at ateachableheart@gmail.com*

Blessings!

Shanda

Titus 2 Tuesdays - Friends That Clean Together...

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

One of my very best friends to this day was my college roommate/suite-mate. I met Lydia on my first day of college. She (and her family) walked into the room catching a glimpse of me sitting on the bathroom counter trying to shave my legs in the sink. (Lovely first impression!) I feel the need to explain why in the world I was doing that...but I will refrain and keep my focus on Lyd!

From that first embarrassing moment; she was an instant friend. We experienced most of our "college firsts" together. She helped me weed my way through college romances and I was partially responsible for the meeting of Lydia and her husband. (I had become friends with his older brother.) She was the first person that I told when I got off the phone with my dad when he told me that my mom had terminal cancer. She cried and prayed with me every time I received new news of my moms failing health. She gave me wonderful praise and worship tapes (yes, tapes!) to encourage me.

When I got word that it was time to go home in preparation for my moms death; Lydia was there helping me pack, communicating with my instructors and turning in projects for me so I didn't have to be running all over campus. She has always been a true friend in every sense of the words and one of my biggest cheerleaders for my many ideas and opportunities along the path of life.

The times that I remember being the most memorable and special between us though...scrubbing our bathroom floor in the middle of the night. In those moments, the business of life dimmed; our roommates were fast asleep, and we would talk openly about everything. Our tears and laughter often helped us clean. It was there, scrubbing the bathroom floor that our hearts were knit together in a David and Jonathan friendship kind of way.

I treasure you, my sweet friend. I am so glad that our families are still close and that you are coming to visit soon. You have blessed my life. You have laughed, cried, lived out your own faith, and encouraged me to know Him more and live fully what He has and is calling me to. Thank you.

To read MORE Titus 2 Posts, click on the links below!
*Mr. Linky is seeming to be having some "issues" today, if you are unable to see it; please just "link" your post below by clicking the "link" button.*

Marital Moments Issue 32 - Fresh

There are a few words that I have been contemplating this past week. Among them, the word, "fresh." Merriam Webster defines the word this way:

1 a: having its original qualities unimpaired: as (1): full of or renewed in vigor : refreshed fresh from a good night's sleep> (2): not stale, sour, or decayed <fresh bread> (3): not faded fresh in her memory> (4): not worn or rumpled fresh white shirt> b: not altered by processing <fresh vegetables>

When we moved into this house the previous owners had just installed fresh carpet. It was wonderful knowing that there were no "mystery spots," stains, snags or holes to worry about. Even the padding was fresh and squished luxuriously beneath us. However, over the years with three children and a cat...our carpet seems anything BUT fresh; what was once soft and inviting has become hardened.

I can often be found on my knees "spot cleaning" areas. Trying to avoid the inevitable; having our carpets professionally cleaned. Oh how I long for my carpets to be "fresh" once again.

Anyone longing for a refreshed marriage? We often begin our marriages fresh - full of renewed vigor, anticipation and hope. However, through the years we can feel worn, soured, and even rumpled!

We may be (or need to be) found on our knees working through some of the stains and mystery spots that are beginning to show through. Some may have employed the professional help of "cleaners." (Christian marriage counselors- which can be amazing tools to opening communication between couples.) Others may be calling all of their friends and relatives seeking advice on how to get that "stubborn spot" out. Yet, at the root of it all, there is only One who is qualified to renew our hearts and minds; and in turn, heal our marriages. It is in getting on our knees and seeking His face that we are able to receive His grace. When we are walking in His grace, it naturally flows through us to those that we love.

A couple of things that aide me while I am "cleaning:" worship music (helps me to keep my mind fixed on Him) and "cleaning buddies." (Those who I can talk openly about my own stains with; friends who will commit to praying with and for me and keep me accountable.)

I have come to embrace Mondays. They are my mental beginning to a "fresh week." Sundays are often my time of renewing and cleansing from the previous week...Mondays are when walking "in the fresh" begins.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Anyone need a cleaning buddy?

II Corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Embrace the freshness of each day this week. Let go of your own faults and failures and allow His grace to flow through you to your spouse.

Blessings!

Shanda