Reading Lips

I've spent a lot of time in waiting rooms this week. Many a television was on - some with sound; some without. One in particular stood out to me. It was turned on to a "reality" t.v. show. Have you ever watched a reality t.v. show without sound? With sound it can be bad enough; without sound and reading the closed captioning...wow. Try it sometime. There is something about words being written down rather than carelessly spoken that amplifies the negativity and harshness.

It got me thinking about the words that I speak to my family. All throughout the day as I spoke I would "see" the words (in my mind) that I had just spoken as if they were in closed captioning...powerful stuff. It was as if God were revealing to me the messages that I was writing on the hearts of those that I love. Some were powerful in a good way; while others were messages that I would never intentionally write on their hearts.

There are so very many Scriptures on the power of the tongue. (All listed are NIV)

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

"The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment." Proverbs 10:21

"For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech." I Peter 3:10

Of those verses that I listed (and there are so very many more!) the first one jumped off the page to me. I am so careful about the foods I prepare for my children. I wash their fruits and vegetables; we eat hormone and additive free as much as we can. But what about the fruit of my words that my children are digesting?

This has been a humbling week for me in many ways. God is at work refining me - it is a continual process - as it is for all of us. His love and grace are ever present and offered freely. I need not strive in my own strength; but rest in His. I am thankful for the process. The words my children are reading on their hearts from my lips are important.

"He must become greater; I must become less. " John 3:30

"My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long." Psalm 35:28

Many Blessings!

Shanda

(Rachel & Keystone~God has brought you both to mind several times in this thought process of mine!)

Real Love Defined

It seems I am taking an "unintentional blogging break" this week! It is a combination of running around town to Dr., dentist, and eye Dr. appointments and my husband trying out a partial "working from home" option...sounded awesome until I realized that meant no computer time for me... ;) So please be patient as we find yet another "new normal."

In the meantime, I've had a chance to be re-reading (in the waiting areas) Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love." In one section of the book he is discussing what God's definition is of "love" and he lists I Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 (ESV).

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends... faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Then he asks us to insert our own names in the place of the word "love" within those verses.

"Shanda is patient and kind; Shanda does not envy or boast..."

Go ahead, try it with your own name...

Much like Francis, I realized my "lack of" as I inserted my name. For me it was between the "does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful..." PERFECT reminder for me as we (our family) moves forward into the "new normal" of school, partially working from home, etc.

We cannot, in our "human" state, love perfectly without knowing the true love of Jesus Christ and allowing His love to flow through us to others.

Tonight I am praying for His love to flow through me anew.

"He must become greater; I must become less. " John 3:30 (NIV)

In Christ's Love,

Shanda

The Cool Kids

My kids just went back to school. It always amazes me how they want to both "fit in" and yet "stand out." They want to be noticed as unique, cool, or special in some way...but still not stand out too much. If you "stand out" in the wrong way at school; you get picked on. Although those days were long ago for me, I find that I occasionally still struggle with the same thing-socially and as a Christian.

We want to stand out for Christ; and yet maybe not so much that we are looked at as an "alien" but as unique, cool, and special. However, even in the Bible we are told that this world is not our home. "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world..." I Peter 2:11a (NIV) I don't think it will be long before those who are living for Christ will look a bit more like the "alien" in this world.

Just today on the phone my husband and I were talking about how it is easier to "let your light shine" a little. (Especially at work.) You know that old kids song, "This Little Light of Mine?" by Bill Harley:

"This Little Light of Mine, "

"I'm Gonna Let it Shine..."

"...Hide it under a bushel?"

"NO! I'm gonna let it shine!"

We were discussing how sometimes it's easier to tip the bushel up a little and let just the light flow out here and there - you know, when you 're talking with other believers in Christ. Then to conveniently let the bushel drop back down a bit when you're speaking with others who might not believe in Jesus. Not that you are cursing or telling crude jokes; but that you are being more of a "subtle" Christian.

It is a fine line to "fit in" and to "stand out" isn't it?

Can you really be yourself when you're trying to do both?

The irony here is that most of the "cool kids" (socially speaking) are those who are just being themselves. They aren't concerned what everyone else is thinking about them all of the time; they are just themselves. That is what makes them cool. There is no one else who can be them no matter how they try. And people sure try, don't they?

The truth is that we can't "fit in" and "stand out" as Christians in this world. We aren't meant to completely "fit" here.

"Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives." I Peter 2:11-12 (The Message)

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. I John 2:15-17 (NIV)

God created each of us as an original masterpiece; "just be yourself...you'll be great!" And let the light that is within you shine...


Shanda
On our way to school this morning!

"Just be yourself; you'll be great" taken from Grace Talk With Daveda

Wild Hearts - Part 1

First, I want to thank everyone who commented yesterday. I am constantly blown away by the ways that God works in and through the body of Christ. Thank you for standing alongside; for the virtual hugs, the Scriptures, and the encouragement that was offered. He is renewing me with His love and grace - part of which flowed through many of you in the comment section yesterday.

This past weekend my husband and son went on a "Wild Heart Weekend." A group of men and their boys from our church retreated to a lodge away from the business of everyday life and spent some time being intentional about bonding - with each other and with God.

I don't believe enough can be said about the impact this kind of weekend has on the lives of fathers and sons.

Surrounded by a company of men, my son was inspired to attempt things he had never accomplished and became more confident in things he was already familiar with. He got to see grown men singing praises to their Father around a campfire, sharing burdens and praying with one another, and just goofing off and having fun together.

He came home a little braver, a little stronger, a little more independent, and along with some very large bug bites; an increased knowledge that he was loved and valued by his father.

Here is my son climbing the rock wall:
Making it to the top:
Coming down:

Here he is crossing to do the zip line:
A part of the company of men, my husband was encouraged and inspired in his roles as a man, a father, and a son himself. He was refreshed, energized, and at peace with the wild heart that God has bestowed upon him. There was time on the drive to talk and to listen to the heart of his 7 year old. There were moments to be able to praise, encourage, and speak life into his son. There were opportunities to speak openly with other men about the struggles of this life. There were moments to gaze at the stars and know the presence of His Heavenly Father.

He came home a little braver, a little stronger, a little less dependent on the voices of the world, and along with some very large bug bites; an increased knowledge that he was loved and valued by his Father.
More "retreat" thoughts to come in Part 2.

May you be strengthened through His love & grace today!

Shanda

Discouragement

Irony. Such a profound word, isn't it?

Tonight I've been struggling with discouragement. And probably, if I am honest with myself, jealousy as well. The crazy thing is that I've just recently written posts on "where is your focus?" and also one on "encouragement."

The second part of the irony is that I realized that I had just posted on those two topics and laughed out loud. In the midst of discouragement; laughter. Although there wasn't any real happiness or joy to be had in my heart in that moment; I laughed.

I'm not normally one to get discouraged or depressed. My mind tends to operate in more of a logical state than an emotional one. So why the discouragement? What is at the root of my emotional state? As I sat and reflected, asking myself that question, many things flooded to mind.

I want to be further along with the curriculum for girls than I am.

I wanted to have lost more weight than I have at this point.

I can't seem to get the entire house clean at the same time and although I know that isn't the most important thing in life; it's kind of driving me crazy!

I sense my husband's building frustration with his work and I can't fix it for him.

The over-riding theme - failure; with a hint of hopelessness.

Will I ever finish this curriculum? And even if I do will it be any good?

Will I ever lose this weight or will I have to concede and buy larger clothes?

Will I ever get my house back in order?

Will my husband get a new job or will this one ever turn around?

As I delved deeper it hit me. These thoughts are not from God. This heaviness of spirit is not of Him. I know truth. I know hope that far outweighs the struggles of this life; why am I dwelling here in this discouraged place? It's not making me feel any better. It's not solving anything. Most likely it is the enemy of my soul trying to distract me from something that God has to show me...

So I began to pray. I prayed for forgiveness for allowing myself to agree with these negative thoughts. I prayed against the enemy of my soul. I prayed specifically for each of those areas laying them anew at the feet of the cross. I began to pour out my fears and my hopes before Him about each area. I prayed for my husband. That God would encourage his heart. That He would allow me to be an encouragement to him and that our house (regardless of it's complete cleanliness) would be as an oasis in a desert to him each day as he came home. That God would make a way - whether it would be a new job or through this job- for him to enjoy his position and I thanked God for providing for our needs. I had a good cry (which I almost never do - except when I am at MOPS...;) ) and I just rested in His presence and His covering for awhile.

Then I realized it was getting late and I hadn't written a post for tomorrow yet. I began to pray that God would give me something to share and He prompted my heart with one last glimpse of irony; He already had.

Finding peace & rest in Him,

Shanda

Titus 2 Tuesady - Wrapped in Love

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever) Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

Today my thoughts are drawn to a sweet friend, Nikki. She is someone who just exudes joy and faith. I have known her and her family now for a few years. We were pregnant together for a brief time and I have greatly enjoyed watching her family grow. They have three adorable little boys.

Recently, my husband and I were surprised by an announcement that she and her husband made: they are being led to adopt! They are walking this adoption journey in faith, trusting that God has a perfect plan for their family and for this sweet girl who will be becoming a part of their family.

While I have known other families who have gone through adoption to ensure that they would have a daughter added to their mix; I can say with confidence that it is more for Nikki and her husband than just "making sure they have a girl." They are passionate about God's leading their family and they are taking each new step in faith. The love that God has already given them for this unknown daughter is beautiful and it is exciting to be able to be a part of His move in their lives.

It has prompted me to be open and seeking His will for my life (our families lives) even if the direction is different than I may have been expecting.

Thank you, Nikki, for sharing the journey with us and being such a beautiful reflection of God's love for each of His adoptive children!

What have you learned from another wise woman? ALL of us can learn something from one another. Join in and then go read these posts!

The Man Card

It seems now-a-days men have (or perhaps had) a "man card." I've heard references to "the man card" on a few movies/shows along the way - normally, "the losing of a man card" when a man chooses to leave the "manly world" of sports, parties, shows emotion or chooses to go do something that their wife has requested or to take care of their children. The idea that somehow a man has to earn his right into a card carrying fraternity of "real" men and then must follow a set of "manly rules" or their card is revoked.

This post by Billy Coffee got me thinking about "Man Cards." Basically, Billy got "told off" for holding the door for a woman at the mall. She didn't just exchange words with him; she was LOUD. She was intentional about causing a scene so that others might see the display and perhaps it might cause other men NOT to hold doors for women as if it were an insult to the female gender to need someone to hold the door for them.

As you can see, the post got me thinking and down right bothered that the voices of those who are in opposition to all that is good (and often holy) are so much louder and intentionally projected for all to see and hear. That what is meant to be good is becoming so distorted.

If I were a woman of means, I believe I would have went out and bought a slew of gift cards (maybe to Home Depot, a Bass Pro shop, a good local eatery, etc.. Somewhere that most men might enjoy going to) and I would have gone to the mall in search of men who would hold a door for me.

I'd smile and thank them and pass out my modified version of "man cards" to encourage men that although we may not be loud; there is quite a large group of women who still greatly appreciate the behavior of a gentleman. No, we probably don't need for you to hold the door open for us; but we appreciate the respect and kindness that it is meant to be to us.

But since I'm not a woman of means...I guess I'll have to settle with smiling, thanking, and writing.

To the men who may read this post: I pray that God would reveal to your heart that He alone holds your masculinity. No man (or woman for that matter) can remove that gift from your Heavenly Father to you. May you embrace the strength, power, and love that being a Godly man brings. This world (and feminine hearts) need husbands and fathers who will embrace their masculinity as the head of their households through Christ's love and grace.

Take a risk: be intentional about opening the door (be it the door at work, the store, or the car door for your wife.)

To the ladies who may read this post: I pray that we would all (myself included) learn more fully what it means to respect the men in our lives. May we appreciate the masculinity that God has bestowed and build it up rather than tear it down. May we embrace our own feminine hearts and come alongside of our husbands as they take risks as leaders in our households. May our households be strengthened through Christ's love and grace.

Take a risk: The next time a male opens the door for you; smile and thank him. Not because we are too weak or need them to do it for us; but because they have taken the time and made the effort out of respect for you.

An excellent book for both men and women to read on the masculine heart, "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge.

If we do not take a stand for that which is good (and also for that which is holy); who will?

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." I Corinthians 11:3

Respectfully,

Shanda