Marital Moments Issue 20 - Affairs of the Heart

If you are joining me from Proverbs 31 Magazine; Welcome! It's so nice to have you here.

For those of you who normally join me, if you have never checked out Proverbs 31 Magazine, it is wonderful! It is truly a privilege for me to occasionally share the written page with some of these amazing, Godly women who are a part of this ministry. You can click here to read my article on, "Renewing Your Marriage." You can click here to check out the ministry of Proverbs 31 and to order their magazine.

On to today's post!

A few months ago, my husband woke me up by holding me tightly. More than just a normal snuggle. He was holding me with resolve. When I asked him what was going on, he told me of a very vivid dream that he had just woken from where I was lured away from he and the kids by a popular movie star. He said it was all so illogical and in the dream he just couldn't understand why I had left. He said the heartbreak was so real and vivid. When he woke up he knew that it wasn't real and that I was totally committed to both he and our children. That I love them all deeply and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our family. Although he logically knew that, he was having difficulty shaking those raw emotions of rejection and loss.

He is normally a person who jokes his way out of stressful and difficult situations. There was no joking around that morning. He didn't even want me to say the celebrity's name...in a way, I have to say it was refreshing to me. To know how much it would affect him to actually lose me made me know how much he loved me, needed me, and wanted me. We spent some time praying together that God would allow our marriage to always be healthy and strong, centered in and around Him.

Now before some of you check out and say that your husband wouldn't have responded that way, wouldn't have been so moved or concerned; and definitely wouldn't have prayed with you about having a strong marriage...you need to know that we did not always have a strong marriage either. (You can read my article above to see that.)

My husband and I both know Jesus as our personal savior; but that in no way makes either of us perfect. Our marriage has had it's ups and downs like most others. During the "downs," it has taken one of us humbling ourselves enough to cast our desires, wants, and rights at Jesus's feet and to pursue the other in Christ's love. I can testify to the fact that if you are praying for God to do a work in your marriage and you are willing to be still and listen humbly to what it is the Lord is speaking to your heart; amazing things will happen.

It isn't always a quick fix. You may not end up in a fairy tale romance. But if you are truly seeking the face of God and His heart; you will find so much more than a simple human romance. You will find the lover of your soul. He will heal you. He will transform your thoughts. He will change your desires of your heart and make them pure and right. That is attractive...even to spouses who do not have a relationship with the Lord. I have witnessed spouses coming to know the Lord because of heart changes that they have watched transform before their very eyes. Do not lose hope sweet sisters! (and brothers!)

James 4 :10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (NIV)

John 17:23 ...May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (NIV)

I Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV; emphasis mine)

Others of you may be in a wonderful place in your marriages where God is present and at work in your lives. Perhaps this post was meant to serve as a reminder to be the one who is pursuing your marriage relationship today.

I believe marriage is something that is always in perpetual motion...two people moving through this life together. I'd love to hear your thoughts on marriage! And as always, I would be honored to pray for you and for your marriage. You can leave a comment under this post or e-mail me at ateachableheart@gmail.com

Blessings & Peace to you!

Shanda
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If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior already and are choosing to seek God's face today in a deeper way but don't know where to begin, I want to encourage you to simply get on your knees and pour out your heart to Him. Here is a sample beginning prayer, but I encourage you to take it and make it your own.

"Dear God, I don't know where to begin. I want to know you more. I want you to change my life. I give you my heart completely. Please take it, heal it, and show me how to give and receive your love. Please heal my marriage. Please heal ________ (my spouse). Please remove the anger, bitterness, and selfishness and replace it with hope, joy, and true love. Thank you for loving me. I surrender my marriage to you. Please show me what to do...In Jesus name, Amen."

Then get into His word, and He will. Proverbs is a very practical book with much wisdom - an easy place to begin. You could read the book of Proverbs that corresponds to the calendar day of the month.

The P's of Praying

I loved the idea of praying 7 times a day for 7 days for my kids...I wish I could say I'm doing it perfectly, but I've already missed a few of those seven per day! Thank God for "Grace, grace, grace!" I know the heart of the idea is to get parents praying Scripture over their children and making it a part of their daily lives - which I know means more than whether or not I pray exactly seven times a day for them.

I have been thinking about the way that I normally pray over my children. I do pray for them throughout the day as well, but I pray for and over them at bedtime. Usually they like for me to pray first and then they pray. A mentor mom in the very first MOPS group that I was a part of in CO did a talk on praying for our kids and she had made a list of "P's" to be praying for:

Peace
Purpose
Passion
Purity
Protection
Power

There may have been more of them, but these are what have stuck with me over the years. I don't do a "memorized" prayer over them because I want to make sure that I am not simply speaking words over them, but praying from my heart. I am away from them tonight as I pray for them which is probably making me think about our nightly "routines" a little more. I guess I typically pray a lot like this (praying over my sons perspective):

"I pray blessings and peace over _____ (I make a cross with my fingers on their forehead as I do that first part...not sure how that started.) I pray that you would give ______ protection and purity physically, mentally, emotionally, and Spiritually. Please allow _______ to know you and to love your Word more and more every day. I pray that the Holy Spirit would be drawing their heart and mind to You. Please reveal _______'s purpose to him early in life and allow him to be passionate for that which you have called him to do. Allow them to walk in your power as they seek Your face. I ask that you would provide strong and true friendships - iron sharpen iron - friendships throughout his life and I pray for a beautiful and healthy loving wife who would love and respect him unconditionally and he her. I pray that you would bless their marriage and give them healthy beautiful children in Jesus name, Amen."

I also pray for any concerns that I know that they have in the moment and things that they are excited about, but that is basically what I pray over my children each night. I love when they pray. My Gentle Strength (middle child) will sometimes pray "over" me. He will begin by making the cross on my forehead and praying blessings and peace over me and then pray for things he knows that I am concerned with (getting to sleep all night, my MOPS meetings to go well, friends of mine who are going through difficulty...) It is precious and I love that they are learning how to pray for another person specifically.

One additional beautiful thing that I have recently heard of someone doing (at Joyful's blog) to help their children remember that they are praying for them when they are nervous, stressed or anxious about something is to put a few drops of perfume or cologne on your daughter or son's wrist and telling them that the fragrance represents your prayers for them. The aroma of the perfume/cologne will be their reminder throughout the day that they are loved and that you are praying for them. "For we are to God the aroma of Christ..." (2 Cor. 2:15)

I'd love to hear special things that you all do when praying for or over your children!

Many Blessings!