Titus 2 Tuesday - We All Need Laughter!

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine..." Proverbs 17:22

When I think of my best friend from growing up, I remember laughter. Heather was such a gift to me from the day we met in the church nursery. I pray that we will one day be two little old ladies still cracking each other up!

I can't remember exactly how old we were, ( I think maybe 4?) but Heather and I were selected to sing, "Jesus Loves Me" during the Christmas Program at our church. Our older sisters were standing behind us; I believe we were kneeling down beside the manger where the song was meant to take place.

The music began, and we got the giggles. Not just little giggles; LOUD / CANNOT STOP kind of giggles. Our sisters, being older and all, knew how unacceptable that was - after all; it was a crucial part of the Christmas Program for the song to be sung! So they began to sing over us. (But we were holding the microphone...)

That was my first of MANY stories of us laughing together. I could quickly list a bunch of phrases like, "That's my own, personal flashlight!" or "Hunch!" But that would mean nothing to you all and I know your reading time is precious.

The bottom line: my childhood/adolescent years/college days/and life would not have been the same without her. She added the element of laughter to the darkest situations and allowed me to belly laugh, snort, and cry all at the same time.

She taught me the power of laughter in a person's life. (Among other things - you will meet her again down the road in other lights I am sure.)

This is actually a dual-purpose post today. I also wanted to introduce you to my blogging friend, Rachel. She is also a Godly friend of mine who understands the value of laughter. When I need a good chuckle, I can (almost) always just read through her comment section of her posts and read the friendly banter between her and her husband, Mr. Daddy.

Rachel hosts a meme on Tuesdays as well called, "True Story Tuesdays." If you are in need of some laughter, check it out! (I didn't want to just talk about laughter and not allow you to experience some!)

On a more serious note, she recently shared the loss of her niece with the blog world and in honor of her sister and her niece she is doing something special. If you would like to be a part of that, you can click here.

What have you learned from another wise woman? ALL of us can learn something from one another. Join in and then go read these posts!
**Please write your "Titus 2 Post" linking back to this post first and then enter your link below.**

Marital Moments Issue 35 - The Dance

There was a couple that lived across the hall from us when we lived in TX that my husband and I befriended. Both newly married, we had a lot in common and often had each other over for dinners. They invited us to a "Big Band" night with them once and we accepted.

They had ballroom danced together in college; we had never danced any kind of ballroom. I was hesitant, so our neighbor (the husband - with his wife's blessing) danced with me to show me how "easy" it was - and it truly was easy with him leading. It caught me off guard a bit how he led me around the floor firmly and confidently executing each move and yet, although firm; it was not forceful.

It was simple to follow his lead and as we glided across the floor, I actually thought I was a better ballroom dancer than I had originally imagined...until the song was over and I danced with my husband (who had also never danced that way and had no clue of how to lead the dance.)

I resisted my husband's attempt to lead at first because I thought he was "doing it wrong." Which only complicated our lack of coordination and left us less then joyful with one another. Our neighbor (who I'm quite sure noticed the tension building) instructed that I just needed to relax and follow. "Trust his lead." She said. "Even if he doesn't do it completely right; just let him lead."

I'm sure we weren't awesome; but we were able to feel like we were dancing gracefully when I stopped resisting and simply followed my husband's lead. The irony; he became more confident in his own lead as I submitted and as he showed more confidence; I respected his lead more. It was humbling and such a powerful lesson for me even then as I reflected on how it related to our relationship as husband and wife.

"Trust His lead. Even if he doesn't do it completely right; just let him lead."

Last week my friend, Daveda blogged about a portion of the "Because of Jesus" Conference that she attended and in it, she mentioned how one of the speakers shared an example similar to my above experience (You can read her entire post, It's Not About Me, here.)

All of these years, I have never made the correlation of my ballroom dance experience to my walk with the Lord. Reading Daveda's post, it hit me in such a beautiful new way. The best part? God DOES know how to lead and He will ALWAYS do it completely right.

Yet here I (often) am; the dance partner that has experienced a little success (most likely by His hand in moments when I was walking in humility and allowing Him to lead), resisting His turns and movements. Why? As my Dad often said, "It's normally three things that stop a Christian from living the life God has for them. Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life." Basically, we (I) get distracted by things that we want, desire, tell ourselves that we need, and we're worried about what other people are going to think about us. We take our eyes off of God and His perfect will and put them on ourselves. But as Daveda so beautifully put it, "It's not about me" (us).

I'm still contemplating the depths of the symbolism in both relationships. But I want to encourage you to dance today! With your spouse and with your Heavenly Father.

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage." Ephesians 5:22-28 (The Message)

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake. Psalm 23:1-3 (NIV)

*For my male readers...I apologize if "dancing with God" isn't a great analogy for you...I'm sure my own husband could relate a bit better to God being his "trail guide" out in the wilderness somewhere when he is without a compass of his own...having to trust someone else to lead him in the correct direction.* : )

Many Blessings!

Shanda

Change Can Be Good

The Final Question that was asked during this week of Q & A was from Jeneil at Autism in a Word.

"I recently had this question on a small group leadership application and I'm curious how you would answer: What is one area in your life in which you would like to see change/growth?"

My non-Spiritual answer...my hair. I just got it cut and already can't wait for it to grow another few inches. Somehow throughout this year I have gradually been going shorter and shorter and now I long for my longer locks.

My deeper answer is two-fold.

1) I desire to be a better listener to what God is speaking/revealing to me. My life and household are busy. I've trimmed some things out in the past couple of months in order to make this more of a priority in my life. God has been stirring up some deeper things within my heart (in regard to the curriculum for girls that I am writing) and I need to take the time to listen. I have no desire for it simply to be my ideas or words; it will only be effective in the hearts, minds and lives of others if it is His Words.

For awhile I complained that I just don't have the time; but God has gradually revealed to me that I am not making the time. My priorities are shifting and I am committing to growth and change in the area of being still and listening. (NOT my forte.)

2) Secondly, (but along the same lines) I want to be a better listener to my children. God has been speaking to my heart about this repeatedly throughout this year. The main message: If we (as parents) are not listening to our children; we are setting ourselves up for their pattern of not listening to us. We are their main source to teach them how to communicate with others and with God. Even if what they are trying to tell me is completely irrational or selfish; I need to listen. To let them express it. Then, instead of stating how irrational or selfish it may be; I need to gently be leading them to the conclusion that is NOT a good choice. It is my natural tendency to just "dismiss" them if what they are saying doesn't make sense rather than let them work through it with me. I need growth and change in this area.

Kinda heavy, I know. Rather than ending on a bit of a serious note; I thought I'd add on a few more purposeful ideas as requested by Wendy at Sun-Kissed Savages.

My children also do daily devotionals when they wake up in the morning. I ask that they read one "lesson" from their devotionals before breakfast and we discuss what they have read over breakfast. (My son is doing, "Gotta Have God 2" by Legacy Press & My daughter is currently doing, "God's Little Devotional Book For Girls" by Honor Books.)

One of my daughters close friends was assigned as her "reading partner" at the end of this school year - they had finished all of the "required reading;" so their teacher partnered them up and gave them classic books like, "The Swiss Family Robinson" to read. They were required to read a certain number of chapters each night and then they were to come up with one or two questions to ask of their partner. (Of course, they tried to make them as tricky as possible!) This got me thinking when her friend's birthday party invitation arrived and I decided to buy both my daughter and her reading partner friend the same daily devotional for girls.

Every morning before school, all of the kids met in the gymnasium of the school and then they go to their classes. The kids can play, etc. until it is time to go; so I challenged the girls to read their devotional each morning before school and then discuss it in the morning. It really added that additional drive to my daughter to read well and it got her discussing things of the Lord with her friends - other girls already had the same devotional and it sounded as if a couple of them joined in too.

When my kids were younger; (between the ages of 3-5) one of their favorite devotional books that we read together was: "Five Minute Devotionals for Children by Pamela & Douglas Kennedy." They were great, quick devotionals based on animals. Both educational and Spiritual!

For another wonderful and purposeful thing that you can do for your children, Jeneil posted today about "A Blessing on the Door." She had written a post earlier on about how she had prayed and God had given her a verse for each of her girls. She wrote them out and posted them on her girl's bedroom doors so that they saw the verses every day as they came in and went out...this post is an extension of her previous post and a tribute to her husband for Father's Day.

Thank you for your questions this week! Have a wonderful Father's Day Weekend!!

Shanda

Purposeful Activites & Garments of Praise

Bethany asked:

What is your favorite purposeful and Biblically-minded and FUN activity to do with your children?

I'm looking for ideas, so please don' feel the need to limit yourself to just one thing :) I just haven't found our niche in this area, but I'm not giving up!! Thanks!!

I think I will begin with a story...I hope you don't mind.

Have you ever gotten into a negative cycle with your children? Where you purpose with everything in you that you will find something positive to say to them only to be faced with the need to correct their behavior over and over again? Where it seems all that they have to say to one another is negative and critical? (No, you say, your family is perfect? Maybe you should come back tomorrow...:))

Awhile back I found myself and my children stuck in a pattern of negativity and after I dropped the older two off at school I sat in my favorite chair, Bible open, and cried. I felt like such a horrible parent. Try as I might, things just weren't improving. I couldn't bring myself to do the Bible study that I was a part of at the time. Instead, I just flipped through my Bible and read all of the verses that I had highlighted, underlined, or wrote little notes beside. (If you are one of those people who don't write in your Bible, you are truly missing out...and so are your children I might add...my grandfather's Bible is precious to me; notes and all.) I do that sometimes when I am discouraged. When I don't have any specific direction and my heart is just calling out to God to open my eyes and heart to something that He has for me.

I came across the verse, "and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3

I began to pray that my children would "be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." And I began to cry again wondering if they ever would be. If they are ever going to "get" what I am attempting to instruct and teach them in.

And then it hit me. "a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." My heart was despairing -my own parenting skills and the apparent lack of teachable spirits within my children. It was as if God lifted my chin and spoke to me. "You need garments of praise."

Now, I am NOT a crafty person (really truly NOT.) But God gave me this idea to create "garments of praise" with my children. I drove to my local craft store and bought t-shirts in the sizes of my children and my husband (because I firmly believe in a mothers ability to help cultivate positive relationships between father and child), bought special fabric markers, and went home. I wrote their names in the center of their shirts in a glow-in-the-dark bubble paint and counted the minutes until I could go pick them up from school.

After they unpacked their things I had them come to the table. I passed out their shirts and told them that we were going to make "garments of praise" for each other. We would focus on one person at a time and they would need to tell me all of the positive things that they could about that person. I was so excited. They were not. Silence. I decided to begin with a neutral party - Dad. I asked them to think up all the positive things that they could think of about their father and I started it off:

"He is a great tickler!" (One of their favorite things to do when he gets home.)

They began to chime in...and I wrote:

"He's a good mower." (He had just mowed the lawn the night before.)
"He makes money so we can live in our house."
"He builds great with Legos!"
"He makes me laugh!"
"He's a good snorer!" (lots of laughing going on now.)
"He's a good eater!"
"He's a great bike rider."
"He loves God."

Then I switched shirts. O.k., what about Beauty? (My daughter)
"She's a good bike rider."
"She's pretty." (My daughter is GLOWING after my son said this...)
"She's a good reader. (Full smile breaking across her face.)

On and on it went until all of the shirts were finished. Praise is such a powerful thing. By the end; the atmosphere in our house had completely changed. They even called out a few of my positives although I hadn't planned to make a shirt for myself. They LOVE their shirts. If one of them is having a tough day; the shirt goes on. Not because I have told them to do it; because it is affirming to them what their family members believe to be true about them. They were also so excited to show my husband his "garment of praise" when he arrived home.

So there is one idea. But the point I hope is not missed is that when we need ideas; we can call out to our Heavenly Father who is the wellspring of everything good. He WILL prompt our hearts into action with our children if we are willing to seek and then to LISTEN. This question and post has reminded me of that truth. (Thanks Bethany!)

Two more quicker ideas:

1. We play something called, "Who Am I?" at the lunch/dinner table (usually when the four of us are still waiting for our two year old to finish eating.) We do both animal and people versions. Basically we take turns giving clues about an animal or person until someone guesses correctly. One clue is given at a time until someone guesses the correct answer. An example or two:
*I was created on the fifth day.
*I am nocturnal.
*I am considered wise.
Who am I? (Any guesses?)

Or for a person:
*I was one of Jesus's Disciples
*I was a passionate person
*I cut off a soldier's ear in the Garden of Gethsemanie
Who am I?

My husband is also a trivia buff so we do a lot of Bible Trivia in our home.

For service related projects:

My daughter enjoys making cards for people when I am making meals for them. I don't ever require it of her. She has received enough words of affirmation from those who have received them to keep her going.

We try to serve our neighbors.

One set of our neighbors has physical limitations so my son will often bring their paper to their doorstep.

We also planted a flower bed in the front of their house while they were on vacation last year (My daughter's idea - we took a little bit of a risk; but we know them well by now so we were 99% sure that they would love it.) We planted three flowering bushes - one for each of the kids. (They each planted their own bush.) And my daughter will go over and weed it for them. (Not consistently; but she tries.) They did love it in case you were wondering!

We encourage our kids to take initiative - if they see something that needs to be done (or even could be done to make things better) do it! Around our own house and our neighbors as well. (After checking with us and them.)

Lest you think that they are perfect children and I am a perfect parent at the end of all of this; just re-read that first paragraph. We take one day at a time bathing in the grace and forgiveness that God provides so lavishly.

AND BETHANY & I COULD REALLY BENEFIT FROM HEARING SOME OF THE THINGS YOU ALL DO AS WELL! So, please share generously, even if it is just something you have had an idea about doing and haven't tried yet. We can all learn much from one another!

Many Blessings!

Shanda

*I do have one question so far that I will be doing my best to answer tomorrow; if you have any additional questions feel free to ask. This (official) Q & A will end tomorrow.

Your Questions Answered

Thank you (all three of you!) for your questions! I'm wondering if I really have been that thorough in answering any questions that you might have had along the way, if many of you just didn't have the opportunity to see my Monday post (due to the whole Photobucket plastering...), or if you are all just too polite to ask what you might really be wondering about...I will plan to answer any additional questions that you may leave in the comment section today on Friday.

Because two of you, Bethany from Happyascanbe and Warren from Family Fountain, asked about my involvement with Proverbs 31 Ministries, I will begin there!

The blurb on my "About Me" section comes from having attended the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference. It is a conference specifically designed to train and encourage (female) Christian writers and speakers. You can click here to read more about the conference. It is open to anyone and only happens once a year. (Fri., July 31 - Sun., Aug 2nd) I chose to do a "split track" - both writing and speaking. After you have completed the speaker track; (complete with speaking and being evaluated on your speaking by a Proverbs 31 speaker - twice) you have the privilege of stating that you are a "graduate of She Speaks" on your bio.

I have also had an article published in Proverbs 31 Magazine. And that is it!

Warren also asked about my involvement with MOPS International. "MOPS" stands for "Mothers of Preschoolers" and is an International ministry that is designed for mothers (either birth or adoptive) from birth through grade school. Here is their mission statement:

"MOPS International exists to encourage, equip and develop every mother of preschoolers to realize her potential as a woman, mother and leader in the name of Jesus Christ."

I have been a member of MOPS International for a little over 7 years and have progressed through my own local group as a Discussion Group Leader, the Discussion Group Leader Coordinator, and then I Co-Coordinated my local group for 4 years.

This past year I was asked to step into the role as a Field Leader with MOPS International which basically means that I oversee, train, equip and encourage the leaders of local groups for about 12 churches here in our region. I am their point of contact with MOPS International, communicate updates, happenings, answer questions, etc. I facilitate team building and hold trainings for local leaders. I have also done some writing for MOPS Connections Magazine; but it will not be published until later this year.

Bethany and Crew asked:
"I've got a question for you- what is your favorite purposeful and Biblically-minded and FUN activity to do with your children?

I'm looking for ideas, so please don't feel the need to limit yourself to just one thing :)"

Because my answer for you started to get pretty lengthy; I've decided to make it into a post of it's own. So your question will be answered tomorrow. (I apologize for making you wait when you were the first question!) I'd like to invite my readers to also plan to respond to Bethany's question in the comment section tomorrow! Bring your ideas and lets all share together!

Again, if you have other questions for me, feel free to leave them below and I will plan to answer them on Friday.

Many Blessings!

Shanda

"Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." I Chronicles 16:11

Titus 2 Tuesday - Photobucket Wisdom

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!


You may have noticed that I had a bit of a "blog issue" yesterday...

I am hoping to have time later today to do a "real" Titus 2 Post; but I will quickly share a bit of wisdom I gleaned yesterday right here in the blog world.

I paid someone to do my blog design because I am just learning all of this HTML code - Photobucket "stuff." What I hadn't realized is that my background colors, column colors, header picture, etc. were all linked to her Photobucket account. She had a billing issue that resulted in hundreds of us bloggers having that lovely Photobucket message plastered across our blog. She is human. Made a simple error. I completely understand and offer grace to her. I'm still in awe that she knows how to do it all in the first place.

So what I have learned from all of this is that IF you have someone else design your blog for you; have them utilize YOUR Photobucket account for all of your design pieces.

There are several awesomely talented people out there who offer blog designs that you can use for free...you may also want to be aware that some of them will be linking the HTML code to personal Photobucket accounts as well.

I also wanted share a website with you that enables you to print your blog into a "book." You can click here to check it out. I was planning to do this on my one year blogging anniversary; but I may do it sooner!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 He even cares about our blogs!!

Many Blessings! I look forward to reading your Titus 2 Posts!

Shanda

*If you didn't have a chance to see my post from yesterday; I am inviting your questions!*

What have you learned from another wise woman? ALL of us can learn something from one another. Join in and then go read these posts!
**Please write your "Titus 2 Post" linking back to this post first and then enter your link below.**

If You Could Ask Me Anything...

What Would It Be?

I have read Q & A posts at several people's blogs in the past; most recently at Billy Coffey's place, What I Learned Today. He did an amazing job answering various questions from what his favorite toe was to his "Come to Jesus Moment."

I realized that although I have posted about a lot of things here on my blog; most of you (probably all of you actually!) have not read every post so you may have questions in the back of your mind that I may have thought I had answered along the way.

One of my friends (Shelley) recently said, "Shanda is an open book; she would tell anyone anything about her life if she thought that it would help them in some way." And honestly, I think I would. In fact, I believe that God has called me to do just that in many ways.

So, if you could ask me anything, what would you ask? I am officially inviting your questions and I will do my best to answer all of them. You can either leave a comment or e-mail me. I just ask one thing...as Billy said so eloquently in all of his southern charm, "just mind the manners your momma taught you, please."

I am also guest posting today (for the very first time) over at Belinda's blog, Eddins 4 on "The Faith of A Child." Thank you Belinda for the invitation to guest post!

I will plan to begin answering questions on Wednesday. Many Blessings!

Shanda