The Masks We Wear

We all wear masks now and then don't we?

*We receive devastating news just before our children are coming home from school; but we manage to hold it together so they don't bear the brunt of our emotions.

*Traveling downtown NYC we pretend that we know exactly where we are going because interviewed criminals have stated that they look for those who appear vulnerable. (Although we may be praying the entire time that we have the directions right.)

*Someone has offended us; but we are trying to act as though they haven't; that everything is perfectly o.k.

*We want to appear like a "good Christian" during difficult times so we hide our real feelings and the deep questions of our hearts. (For a deeper look at this mask, click here.)

You get the idea. Some of these masks are beneficial for a moment in time; possibly even for a season. But others...others allow us to stuff our emotions. To hide out. To disguise our true selves and ultimately cause chasms to grow between our relationships.

Consider a fabulous facial mask made by Arbonne. The "Sea Mud Face and Body Mask" (part of their Detox Spa Line) is said to do the following:

"The detoxifying actions of sea mud and bentonite clay help draw out impurities as they absorb excess oil from the skin. Also suited for oily skin to help prevent clogged pores, blackheads and blemishes. Helps detoxify and condition the skin's surface. It wraps you in comfort and leaves your skin glowing." (Bold emphasis mine.)

I actually use this particular face mask, and can see improvement when I do; but what if I left this fabulous mask on too long? It is recommended for 5-10 minutes. What if I left it on my face for a whole day? What about a week?

Even just after the 10 minutes my face is hardened. Almost immobilized. I can only partially smile. My laughter sounds different. My communication with others is limited because I am uncomfortable talking and earlier today while I had this mask on, my daughter even said, "I'll come back later after you wash it off so you can talk better."

All I can smell is the mask. Although it is a nice fragrance; I would miss the ability to smell other things with clarity. Can you see where I am going with this?

Even beneficial "masks" left on too long will cause damage. What began as a good thing; can now be harming us. Some masks can cause damage to ourselves, our relationships, and to our souls.

We are not meant to hide behind masks. God calls us to "cast our cares upon Him."

Also as the body of Christ, we are commanded to "bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

What is Christ's law and how is it fulfilled? "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14) If we love our neighbor as ourselves; then we will be willing to bear one another's burdens without judgment and condemnation; but in love.

Would you do something for me today? Would you just take a minute or two and look yourself in the mirror and allow yourself to be real with yourself about the masks that you are wearing? Trust me, it won't take long. If you allow yourself to be open they will flood to your mind.

After you have identified your masks. Ask yourself: "Is this mask beneficial or not?" Even if you answer that it has been beneficial; check to see if it has been left on too long.

Talk to God about the masks that you are wearing. It doesn't matter where you are in your relationship with Him. Even if it feels that you are separated by a thousand miles; call out to Him. Admit to Him what masks you are wearing and ask Him to help you to remove them. Sometimes, He alone will remove them. Other times, (in my case, most times) He will prompt me that I need to take specific action.

Just as when I wash the "Sea Mud Mask" off of my face; it may take some time. Most masks that have been on any length of time will take more than a simple splash. It may take some effort to completely remove it. But I can honestly tell you, it is worth the effort.

Pray that God might bring someone into your life that you could talk to about your masks. Share wisely - making sure that it would be someone who would value your openness and not break your confidence.

There are some times when professional help is needed. I've had two friends this year (acquaintances that have progressed now into real friendships) that I had NO IDEA were struggling with areas of addiction in their lives. Thankfully, their spouses sought professional help with them and they are both able to live without those masks that were destroying them from the inside out. Even Christians struggle.

Satan would like nothing more than to keep us isolated and defeated. He is the father of lies and convinces us NOT to share our struggles. Makes us feel that we couldn't share THAT with others; what would people think? Yet the irony is that it is in sharing some of these deep hurts, fears, and sorrows that freedom is birthed.

I know that this is long. If you have taken the time to read through it all, thank you. It is such a desire of mine to see my brothers and sisters in Christ living in the fullness that God has for His children. You are loved. You are forgiven. You can be free from the masks that seem to be adhered so tightly to you. There is rest for your weary soul.

Be real with yourself. Go to God. Begin to wash yourself in the Word of God and if God prompts you to share with someone you trust; do it. *If someone shares with you - keep it confidential. Prayerfully intercede. Encourage them along the way.*

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but an encouraging word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25

"Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing." I Thessalonians 5:11

As always, you are welcome to leave comments below or to e-mail me ateachableheart@gmail.com if you would like for me to be praying for you.

Many Blessings as you De-Mask!

Shanda

*Special thanks to my beautiful friend, Angela, who was willing to be "mud-masked" twice for me as I did this devotional and for her insight into the "smell" portion of wearing the mud mask! You are SO right!

"If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" - Tooth Fairy Version

If the Tooth Fairy comes when your child puts their tooth under the pillow;

The child will write a "thank you" note and ask for a picture of the Tooth Fairy.

If the Tooth Fairy thought the note was adorable and answers said note (after spending hours on the internet sorting through pictures of Tooth Fairies and also finding the perfect "Fairy font.")

The child will be thrilled; show all of their siblings, friends and teachers and write another note to the Tooth Fairy asking what she did with the teeth when their next tooth falls out.

If the Tooth Fairy is COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED and forgets to come the next time;

The child will shed huge crocodile tears wondering if the Tooth Fairy didn't like their tooth.

If the Tooth Fairy manages to convince said child that she must have been on vacation for a night;

The child will go to sleep happy the following night - note and tooth safely secured under their pillow with dreams of shiny coins and Fairy font.

If the Tooth Fairy realizes that she is fresh out of shiny coins, she will run out to the grocery store at a crazy hour and then spend another hour or so composing the cutest fairy fonted letter that she can think of.

The child will wake up thrilled; expectations building.

If the Tooth Fairy is wondering how in the world to end this crazy cycle; she will blog about it in hopes that her fabulous bloggy friends can offer wisdom to save her sanity even though she is sure she will look back on this and laugh one day!

The End (is that even a possibility?)

I know you may come here for some deeper or more Spiritual thought; (I'll do my best to provide something along those lines tomorrow) but if you have any wisdom to offer, I'm all ears!!
----
This post was inspired by this post by Bethany over at 3SonsPlus1. (And of course, my life.)

And for what may be the most touching Tooth Fairy post ever, straight from the heart of a father, read John's post titled: Of Blood and Fairies.

Titus 2 Tuesday -My Name is Pride

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

Pride has a way of rearing it's ugly head in our lives doesn't it? It affects our marriage, our relationship with our children, friends, just about everyone we come in contact with really. A girlfriend of mine, who I love dearly because we can always be completely real with one another through the good and the bad; shared this poem with me awhile back when we were delving into lessons the Lord is speaking into our lives. I got goosebumps as she read it to me. God had given it to her the week before she shared it with me.

Thanks Julie, I honor your influence upon my life girl!

My Name is Pride
by: Beth Moore

My name is Pride.
I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny,
because you demand your own way.

I cheat you out of contentment,
because you, "deserve better than this."

I cheat you out of knowledge,
because you already know it all.

I cheat you out of healing,
because you are too full of "me" to forgive.

I cheat you out of holiness,
because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you out of vision,
because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you out of genuine friendship,
because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you out of love,
because real love demands sacrifice.

I cheat you out of greatness in heaven,
because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory,
because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is pride.
I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I"m always looking out for you...untrue.
I am looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you. I admit, but don't worry,
you stick with me, you'll never know.

As Beth Moore often says, "Anyone else?" (while raising my hand...)

Thank you, Julie, for being a friend who helps me to grow and for being an example of someone willing to face the negative aspects in our lives head on.

*This is a repost from a previous Titus 2 Tuesday. As I have been praying about what to share this week; I was prompted to share this post again.

What have you learned from another wise woman? ALL of us can learn something from one another. Join in and then go read these posts!
**Please write your "Titus 2 Post" linking back to this post first and then enter your link below.**

Marital Moments Issue 34 - The Wedding Gift

I broke a plate this week. Not just any plate; it was a large decorative plate that my husband and I received for a wedding gift. It was hand made and has our wedding date on it. Normally when a dish breaks; I will carefully clean up the pieces and off to the trash it goes. But this one I just couldn't bring myself to throw away. Out of all of our wedding gifts; it was the one that both my husband and I instantly loved and it has been holding fruit (and other food items occasionally) for nearly 11 years now.

It is shattered enough that to glue it back together would be a little obvious. Yet; I left it broken and shattered on the counter just to see if my husband might be able to epoxy it back together. (He's talented like that!)

The household was busy when he arrived home and I didn't have a chance to mention it to him before he saw it. I knew instantly that he had when I heard him sadly say, "Oh no!" It was a tender expression filled with the understanding that we have three relatively small children who could have easily broken it while trying to "help out." After explaining that I was the one who had broken it; we both just stood there staring at these pieces of porcelain that have held such meaning to us both over the years.

The couple that had given it to us as a gift have long since been divorced. The husband had attempted to re-discover his youth with his secretary.

My husband proceeded to tell me that he had heard just that day that a couple that we have known almost our entire married life together was also heading for divorce. I was in shock. This was one of those couples that you automatically said both of their names when you talking about them or planning to do something with them. Apparently the wife has been having an emotional affair for quite some time and has decided that she is no longer "in love" with her husband at all.

It was such a reminder to me that we need to be intentional about pursuing our spouses! There is no place in marriage where you no longer have to invest of yourself. You don't pass the 10 year mark, the 15 year mark, the 20 year mark, or in this couple's case; the 35 year mark, where you no longer have to keep guard over your heart and mind. Where you don't have to be quick to love and willing to forgive.

Those things are easier to do if our hearts and minds are fixed on Christ. But I think it is fair to say that there are also times; seasons if you will, where we ebb and flow in our marriages and Spiritually as well. We are on fire - growing, learning and passionate about living for God; and then gradually find ourselves having to awaken again to the things of God. Begin reading our Bible (either in a fresh meaningful way or at all), praying, and drawing near to God once again. Is is often in those Spiritually drowsy moments when our guard begins to drop and we allow ourselves to entertain temptation.

We are all tempted. But it is when we allow ourselves to entertain temptation that we end up either having to battle our way out mentally (and Spiritually) or we fall.

We decided right then and there to fix the plate. It will probably be obvious that it has been glued; but it is also now symbolic to us both that we are going to fail at points in our marriage. There will be moments when something that I do or say will shatter my husband and vice-versa. But we are committed to picking up the pieces and asking God to epoxy us back together again through His love. Yes, maybe our marriage will be forever changed through those instances. Perhaps that "original beauty" will have been altered; but it is my prayer that our marriage will continue to grow more and more beautiful and meaningful - God epoxy and all.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:7-10 (NIV)

the same verses from The Message version:

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." James 4:7-10 (The Message)

My heart is passionately crying out to those of you who may need to hear it today:

wake up - draw near to God

and go out of your way to pursue your marriage.

May the epoxy of God's love bind up your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Many Blessings!

Shanda

School's Out!! Now what?

Oh, I have been waiting for everything to "end" this year! More than any other year I think. I enjoy being able to stay up late with the kids, letting them do "sleepovers" in each other's rooms, camping out (in our backyard mostly) and just hanging out more as a family in general without so many deadlines and demands.

This first week is normally about transitioning and establishing a bit of new order to our household. We allow them to game/computer/watch movies/generally lay around until their heart's content most of this first weekend. You know, to solidify that "school's out" feeling. (Plus it helps me to recover from all of the chaos too!)

Then Monday morning our "summer chore chart" will roll out. Mer over at Life at 7000 Feet had an awesome post on her chore chart/summer routine that you should really check out if you haven't already. I think my husband might freak out a bit if I wrote ours onto the refrigerator; but hers looks pretty cool on there!

We do the basic:
1. Make bed
2. Get Ready for the Day (clothes, brush teeth & hair) *I let them know each night if we will be going somewhere the next morning so they can be prepared with appropriate clothing - swimsuits, clothes that actually match, etc.*
3. Clean up their bedrooms *I should be able to vacuum without sucking up toys*
4. Laundry must be brought down and sorted on their assigned "laundry day." *I've found that it works best for us to do laundry for the older two on separate days so they can help with the entire laundry process.*
5. Bathroom duty *Counter and sink wiped down, mirror wiped, floor mini-vacuumed, and toilet seat wiped* (We use some eco/kid friendly wipes for the counter & toilet seat. And a white vinegar/water mix for the mirror.)
6. Trash duty *We have two "trash days" so whoever has this job must empty all small trash cans in the household the day/night before our trash pick up days.*
7. Table Setting/Clearing *This is for Lunch and Dinner. Everyone else helps together for breakfast.*
8. Food/Water for Cat

The first 3 are required every day for both of the older two. The other duties rotate weekly between the two of them. (Littlest One is often talked into helping them out as well.)

We do NOT pay them for the household chores. Because they are part of the family; those are their contribution to making our household run smoothly. I do, however, do "spot checks." Twice a week (whenever I choose to keep them on their toes; although I do try to be fair) I will check their areas. If they are clean/jobs done well; I give a 50 cent bonus (for a total of $1 per child a week).

This year I am thinking about allowing them to earn $ for pulling weeds. It has rained, rained, and rained some more here and our weeds throughout our yard are growing like crazy!

I do also ask that all three kids have a "quiet time" in the afternoon for an hour - they can read, write, or play quietly in their own rooms. They will occasionally fall asleep; but not very often. *I try to rotate one day a week when I spend time 1-1 with each child during one of the quiet times*

I'd love to hear what you do in your household!! I have a few specific questions; but feel free to add additional wisdom as well!

*Do you give an allowance? If so, when did you begin that and how much?

*What do you do to keep your kids motivated to do their chores throughout the summer?

*What is your favorite "fun thing" to do with your kids during the summer?

Oh...and if my children come up to me and say, "I'm bored...there's nothing to do..." I can always come up with another chore or two ;).


"Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Corinthians 14:40 (not perfectly; just decently! ;) I sometimes have to remind myself of that!)

Many Blessings!

Shanda

Glimpses of Heaven

Life has been crazy these past few weeks, but there is finally a "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. Thank you all for hanging in there and continuing to read and comment although I haven't been posting consistently!

My husband and I attended the "Hillsong United" concert in MD on Monday night. It was absolutely amazing. I love the group - for the awesome songs, incredible talent, but even more for the hearts behind it all. As they led worship - and they truly were leading worship; not just performing. They would step back - out of the lights - and just let the crowd (thousands of us - just about every nationality you could imagine) sing. I caught a glimpse of what heaven might just look like at one point when we were all singing "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest..." It was incredible. I've never had the opportunity to see a group so blended - as if every tribe, every nation, people of all ages, were represented -all coming together worshiping God in Spirit and in Truth.

Because we actually live in VA and had a babysitter; we had to leave before the concert was over. It was difficult to walk away. In a world where we so seldomly see masses of people gathering with such diversity to praise the one true God together - it encouraged my heart. I needed to see "the church" so alive, united, and boldly praising their Savior. God is actively at work in the hearts and lives of His people and drawing many to Him.

"...that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phil. 2:10-11

Many Blessings!

Shanda

Titus 2 Tuesday - Fasting and Prayer

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

Write your own "Titus 2 Post" (linking back here somewhere within the body of your post) and enter your link below!

It is hard to believe it has been a full week since I have posted! Sometimes God is more active in the silence than words...

Today I am honoring two women, Traci and Kathryn, that I have gotten to know over the course of this year by praying with them. Our children attend school together and we have been meeting once a week to pray for the school, the administration, faculty, staff and each student by name. We were not able to make it every single week; but it wasn't about whether or not you were there every week...it was about the heart of covering the school and all within it in prayer.

The sweet fellowship of agreeing in prayer with these women has blessed me. The ministry that they run has also resonated within me. You can check it out here.

I first met Traci at the end of year class picnic last year. (Our daughters are in the same class.) At the time, I was considering home schooling my children and she shared with me how she had home schooled in the past. When I asked her what it was that had made her stop homeschooling, she shared that God had called her to begin a ministry. (Kathryn has become a ministry partner with her.)

If you have ever desired to go deeper in your relationship with the Lord, this is such an amazing resource and tool. The heart of it all is getting back to our first love through fasting, prayer, and spending time in the Word of God. Although you are fasting; the emphasis is on feasting on God's Word. For those who are looking for a place to begin, they have written a program called, "EAT" that breaks down Scriptures to focus on for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They have done a wonderful job explaining different ways to fast, how to transition out of a fast, etc.

What I have come to respect and love most about these women is that they are genuine and they are bold. They are surrendered to Christ and taking each step as He leads in His authority. It has been deeply inspirational to me in my own walk.

What have you learned from another wise woman? ALL of us can learn something from one another. Join in and then go read these posts!
**Please write your "Titus 2 Post" linking back to this post first and then enter your link below.**

Mr. Linky's free widgets are not available right now; so if you would like to link up; please let us know in your comment that you have joined in. You can also "link" your post to this post by adding a link to my blog in the body of your post or by clicking on "links to this post" below. I apologize for the inconvenience!